Thursday, September 10, 2009

A few years before straightedge...

I was in NYC last night and performed a wee bit (Scotland flashback) and then saw some friends at a bar next door. Here is the thing I always feel embarrassed to say it and try to change this statement on occasion but for the most part (duh duh duh) I don't drink. I know I always feel the urge to make excuses for it like, I am really bad at it, long day, not tonight. But the truth is I have had about three drinks this year and did not finish any of them. On occasion I convince myself well maybe you'll love it but the truth is I never do I go in like "yeah ok something fruity" and then five sips and I am buzzed and feel the urge to abandon my drink on the corner of the bar discreetly.
Maybe it is a control thing, kind of like the way I hate to fly, if they would just let me in the cock pit I would probably be calmer. It started early I mean typical comic story my dad was an alcoholic, not just any alcoholic I mean it was his career. His career being all he did was drink.... anything: vanilla extract, cough syrup, rubbing alcohol (not advised he went into a comma my freshman yr of college but recovered), and anything he could get his hands on that had any bit of alcohol in it. I saw a man be two people a sober funny loving dad (18%) and the scariest person I ever met who destroyed our family and himself (82%). He died of a brain tumor when I was 22 and I changed his diapers at the end and fed him chocolate ice cream. That is when I realized this man was searching for peace and his only way to get it was to leave this life, and so he did. So that was my earliest impression of alcohol.
My teen years I was rebellious and had my own mind but I never drank or did any drugs. I never developed a liking for it so by the time social drinking came around I was not really interested or good at it. I am not against it just never think about it. I do think frozen strawberry magaritas are yummy, or mojitos or proseco but never do I think about it, I think more "wow if I order french fries with cheese and gravy and not eat lunch or dinner does that equal out". If alcohol was chocolate I would be dead by now. Thanks for reading. xo, Vicki

1 comment:

  1. Lady Bug Warrior, there's no greater super hero than you. Because you search for the why behind the action! Keep on being you!
    -Kea Hokoana
    Waihee, Maui, HI