Saturday, November 7, 2009

Broadway and tv.

When I was 14 I wanted a drafting table. I used to draw a lot, and paint and weld. I know weld, it's true I was the only female in my HS woods and metals classes. Art was how I said my pain, my joy, it was an outlet that I loved and I wanted a drafting table. I got my first job when I was twelve and always made my own money however since cabbage patch dolls (fourth grade) I never actually asked for anything specific - gift wise so I was positive I would get what I wanted, a drafting table. My parents were separated since I was twelve and when my dad came around I wasn't. I remember on my 15th birthday I got home from school and in my room was a television set with bootleg cable. I know I seem like a brat to have been disappointed but I was, I asked my mom "why a tv?". She told me my dad picked it out and she thought I would like it to. Soon after my dad fell off the wagon again and my mom actually enforced the restraining order. I did not see my dad again till my brother's college graduation two years later. My dad tried to kill himself my freshman year of college by drinking three bottles of rubbing alcohol and then when I was 22 the day after I opened an art gallery in NJ he called to tell me he had a brain tumor and was dying. My mom and I flew to Wisconsin (where he was living with some religious group), and we brought him back to NJ where he lived for 6 months and ten days, he was given 3-6 months to live and I always feel like, that was my stubborn dad the extra 10 days. His brain tumor was a fourth stage inoperable glioblastoma (tumor) and within ten days he went blind and then was in a wheel chair and would say confusing things all the time. Like he would tell me to get ready for my Broadway show and to lose weight and that my tv show was a hit. I was trying to run this art gallery and make it work and then see my dad at night so a Broadway show was not actually in the cards at that time or even a dream of mine. My dad died at the age of 56 and I now dream of being on Broadway and having a hit tv show. I kept that television when I moved out on my own and had my own home for 8 years and then when I moved to NYC 3 1/2 yrs ago it moved with me again. When I moved back to NJ a couple of months ago I did not bring the tv, it was kind of past it's expiration date. Yesterday, I thought about this as I was running through the woods making this spec commercial and started to laugh because maybe my dad was a f@ck up and maybe he also saw something in me I had yet to see in myself. Thanks for reading. xo, Vicki
I have f@cked up from time to time and I think that is why they call my species of super hero human.

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