"Rose, run with the bulls".......

remember when Leonardo said that in Titanic, that she had a fire in her eyes, you remember? Lately, I have been giving myself a little bit of a hard time to pick one thing, to make my life make sense on paper and frankly it gives me palpitations, then why do it you ask? Well it is a new decade, I am almost another year older and as usual things tend to slow up in the beginning of January and so as they say "idle hands are the devil's tools", so true. My nephew Jack asked me recently about performing, cooking, my general existence. Nothing gets more real than when you have to explain your life to an eight year old, so I said it....."Jack, some people have one thing and that is what satisfies them and I am not like that, I like to be creative and I like to say yes to any opportunities that feels right in my heart so I may never be one thing except well I will always be your aunt (awwww) and yes you probably will have an uncle one day." I couldn't go on about finding a right one not just anyone, even I have my limits for exploring my whole life in one discussion. You may know this and this is a bit of a ramble so bear with me, so far in my life I thought I was going to go to med school but instead went to art school, dropped out, owned an art gallery, turned into a wholesale glassware business, worked 15 different part time jobs, made stuff for tv set design, owned a little house, had a jam chutney business, started a little catering business,co-wrote a screen play and produced it, sold everything, moved to nyc, learned to blow glass, play guitar (sort of), studied improv comedy, started doing stand-up (love it), grew catering business (NYC+NJ), wrote and performed one person show "lady bug warrior", went to Scotland, moved back to NJ in order to afford to go to Scotland, started teaching weekly cooking classes (love it), still catering and performing, thinking about opening cafe in NJ which I would also still perform, maybe have shows at and teach at..that is some of the stuff so far and to think I am only 24, wow. Being an adult child of an alcoholic I always think "wow, is all of this because I have commitment issues?", NO, my brother is an accountant and has been since graduating college, he is married (only one wife), has a home, mini van and three great sons. He is also an adult child of an alcoholic and his life is pretty committed. I am creative and I have multiple talents, goals, etc, so I am never going to be one thing. Like my current "to do list" says- find a cute cafe with apartment above to live, write a funny/cooking/life book, date, get married (not to everyone I date but at least one of them), be a mom, have a tv show, travel more (like Spain), do great things for this world in secret (I love that - like sending people who need things- stuff anonymously - it makes me feel like than people don't have to waste their energy on thanks and can just pay it forward- like magic), grow my own food- I think the whole food chain where it travels 3000 miles and uses barrels of gas to get to me probably wipes out the vitamin c effect I feel (this is a little more long term), go be as healthy as I can with out wearing sweat suits as clothing but actually using them to sweat in. I think that is good for now. I am not a big fan of "resolution lists", I like to call them "to do lists" because the words "to do" seem more encouraging then resolute. Thanks for reading and hearing me out, I think everyone's life is a journey and some of you have been on this part already, are in it, have yet to know it or are just on a different trip all together regardless, have the best of everything and happy new decade!! Remember when people were stockpiling canned food for Y2K, oh we are sure silly sometimes. xo, Vicki