So, I went back to weight watchers, yay, down another 4 pounds totaling 56, yay! This week's topic was being able to ask for "what you need". I know how hard is that? I was always that kid who wore a smile and was polite while crazy stuff went on at home. I learned to put people at ease even if, by the time I was ten I would pray for someone to come and take me away, not calgon, you get the point. Sorry, every one has battle scars, the point is I learned to carry my load and sometimes other peoples and asking for help would probably be good, but wow? admit that I couldn't do everything in life all alone, balancing on one toe? What are you crazy? I am a super hero!
I sat at this meeting and a slight woman raised her hand and she said her name was Victoria and she had cancer and was battling for her life and she still came to weight watchers because she needed to keep some of her normal routine. She started to cry and say that she started to call people in her family, even the ones she didn't get along with to ask for help and start telling them what she needed. She was upset because she felt alone and her husband tries to help but she doesn't understand why everyone doesn't. WOW?? A light bulb went off in my head and I shared too. "Victoria, you are doing great, your name alone means Victory, believe me I should know, the older I get the more I realize you only get a small life boat of people who are on your team. There are a few people who will always be there, a family member, a parent, a best friend, but the other couple spots are sometimes being changed, maybe with a friend you know for a short period of time, or a stranger who makes eye contact with you and knows without even asking you need them to carry your falling bag. So don't feel alone, even in this room I know there are women who would help you, whenever you need it. The people you see who seem like they have a giant yacht filled with people, well that is all smoke and mirrors, they spend more energy than you have to keep that going. Focus on you and your small life boat will be there for you just ask." I can get preachy sometimes, and I know everything we say in life is really for ourselves and if it helps someone else at the same time all the better. As I left the meeting I saw Victoria, and I hugged her and told her she was doing great. She hugged me back and told me I was too. Tears weld up in my eyes as I walked away because I guess for that minute Victoria was in my life boat and I needed to hear that too. I am doing great. I had hit a speed bump for a second but now I am right back on track. As Rocky Balboa says---"It's not how many times you get knocked out that count, it's how many times you get back up."
So, watch out, I'm getting back up, because I too have a hell of a small life boat and I am thankful for them!!!
Thanks for reading! and thanks for telling me to write more (you are on my small life boat).